You're completely useless in the revolution.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I smell like Dick and happiness
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
