I got chris browned last night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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