Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
