you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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