I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
