party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
