just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
