made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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