you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
