This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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