come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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