We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you win again, gameday.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
