Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
