This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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