fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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