Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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