Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
