I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
