He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
