Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
