You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Randomize
