Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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