She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
