Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You were trust falling into bushes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
