Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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