How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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