I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
