forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Your penis caused this!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
