I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
