Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
