two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Pants are for mortals
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
