he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
