yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
