I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
