he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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