I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
