Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Your cock deserves a montage
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
