Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
