Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
40s are totally the cure
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
