apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
