i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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