I am in a vortex of obligation.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He keeps bees of course he's weird
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
