have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
