So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
