i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have tasted many bathrooms
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
