There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
