mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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