i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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