I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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