he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
